A career expert told us why an insecure person is dangerous in a team and how to communicate with them properly
Insecure people leave an unpleasant aftertaste during communication. As a rule, they are potential initiators of conflicts that create a toxic atmosphere in the work environment. Their characteristic features are a tendency to self-deprecation, inability to make independent decisions, and envy of others' successes.
The website cnbc. com writes: "You've probably encountered insecure people at work, such as a gossipy coworker or a boss who constantly downplays your accomplishments. It's hard to work around them, and it's dangerous to trust them."
Therefore, it is important to be aware of the "red flags" that indicate that you are around this type of person. And here's what you should pay attention to first.
How to recognize an insecure person?
In normal situations, these people often speak negatively about themselves, and they are overly self-critical. When it comes to work, insecurity often manifests itself in deliberately belittling the role of colleagues to make themselves seem more important, or in blaming someone else for failures.
Here are three of the most common behaviors of an extremely insecure person:
- The desire to compare and compete with others.
- Seeking constant approval and praise from your colleagues or boss.
- A hypertrophied passion for self-sacrifice.
All these behavioral patterns are a form of external validation that insecure people need to dispel doubts about their abilities.
It should be noted that insecure people with a victim mentality are especially dangerous for the team, as they lack personal responsibility and often blame others for their misfortunes, making it almost impossible to work with them.
How to communicate with an insecure person at work
Psychologists say that you will need a lot of patience, compassion, and clear boundaries for when and how you communicate with them.
Creating a negative image of this person won't help your relationship, so you need to find a balance between being supportive and being tough on them.
To do this, maintain a positive attitude and self-control when communicating with him or her and gently shift the conversation to another direction if he or she starts talking about themselves in a negative way or gossiping.
Psychologists recommend in this case: "If someone is trying to push you to gossip about your colleagues, keep a professional distance. You can say, 'I didn't have that experience with him, so I can't add anything to the conversation' and change the subject.
Finally, if an insecure coworker is bothering you and distracting you, limit your communication with them. Put on your headphones at your desk, politely withdraw from small talk, and do whatever you need to do to stay calm.