How to save a marriage from divorce after 50: tips for couples
Exhausting life, children, age-related crises, the accumulation of resentment, and many other things rarely become a bone of contention, even among strong and long-lasting marriages. Expectations are not met, and views diverge. Almost every couple faces a crisis in their relationship. However, not everyone manages to "get out of it."
This was reported by SSPDaily.
Signs of an unreliable marriage
Before you start a family, you should make sure that your partner is really the right person to spend your life with.
Experts cite a number of signs that may indicate that your marriage may not be strong:
- Distrust and constant checking.
Constant suspicions can lead to constant conflicts and eventually to a breakup.
- Constraints from friends and acquaintances
- Lack of interest in each other's interests
"It happens that over time people start to drift apart. Even in their free time, everyone starts to live their own interests. The husband is constantly disappearing somewhere with friends, the wife goes to a beauty salon or to her friends. The important thing is not that everyone has their own interests and hobbies (as it should be), but that people simply stopped needing to communicate and be present with each other."
- Abrupt change in attitude towards your partner
- Emotional swings
- Loss of intimacy
- Partner starts to "annoy"
- A ban on personal interests.
Why couples who have been together for a long time break up
It happens that a seemingly strong union unexpectedly breaks up, despite the many years they have lived together. In particular, recent statistics show that the number of late-life divorces has doubled. People don't want to stay in a relationship for various reasons.
Psychologists give the main reasons why couples break up after a long relationship:
Accumulation of a large number of resentments
Despite the fact that partners eventually open up and you know absolutely everything about the other person, irritation does not disappear. It is not uncommon for lovers to keep their resentment inside instead of analyzing the cause of the conflict. Over time, there are so many of them that they lead to severe quarrels and sometimes even divorce.
Age crisis
According to statistics, this problem is most often faced by men. There is a total reassessment of values, a realization that life is coming to an end, a longing for youth, and a fear of a lack of achievements. To make up for lost time, men may leave a long-term marriage for a much younger partner. However, women also face an age crisis.
Distribution of family roles
Dissatisfaction with family roles
As people get older, they begin to realize that they have lived most of their lives not as they wanted to, but rather according to the stereotypes of society. The joys they have experienced are devalued, and losses are turned into absolutes. The decision comes naturally - they need to divorce. People often get tired of giving something to their partner and want to live for themselves.
Loss of attractiveness by partners
Another point is that spouses begin to take each other for granted and lose the desire to improve. Flirting, romance, and the desire to surprise the other half disappear. Everything becomes familiar, mundane, and monotonous. The partner is no longer attractive either physically or as a person. Without mutual commitment, marriage loses its value.
How to save a long marriage
Despite difficulties in relationships, many marriages can be saved. According to psychologists, when a couple is on the verge of divorce, it is worth calming down and weighing all aspects. The first step is to figure out whether each party is ready to deal with the problems and move on. Joint therapy often helps with this.
Tips from psychologists on how to save a marriage:
- Open conversations
- Respect for each other
- Condescension to each other's failures and mistakes
- Relationship crises are normal
- Stamp in the mind, not in the passport
- Removing family masks
- Shared traditions.
Advice for couples in marriage over 50
- Time to focus on each other
Often in a marriage, the focus is on the children, and the relationship between the partners fades into the background. So when children become adults, it's time to enjoy each other again. Relationships can take on new colors and become interesting in a new way.
- Don't be afraid to talk about fears and doubts
Even after many years together, people often have a habit of not sharing problems with their loved ones. The need to be heard and receive support from a loved one makes a relationship last longer.
- Do not take relationships for granted
From the very beginning, this is a failed position. Show respect for each other, develop together, and not be afraid to go through difficulties together.
- Allow your partner to be different