I'm 20 and dating someone my age: what psychologists think about it

By SSPDaily editionJan 17, 2024 19:30 PMSociety
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Dating someone my age
Dating someone my age. Source: www.telegraph.co.uk

Most psychologists have a negative attitude towards relationships between people of the same age and believe that such unions create more problems than benefits. And the main reason for this is the immaturity and inconsistency of the goals and objectives of partners who are trying to find their place in this world.

Journalists of the online edition of News 24 talked to a well-known practicing psychologist and sociologist Chante Spannenberg. Here's what she thinks about relationships between peers and people of different ages.

"Traditionally, when you are in your twenties, peer-to-peer relationships are considered problematic because both partners are actively searching and unable to satisfy each other's needs."

At the same time, Chante believes that the advantages of such unions are common interests.

"When you date someone your own age, you may have more in common, such as hobbies, physical attraction, interests, friends, and similar goals. This makes it easier for you to plan for the future." Unfortunately, she says, due to natural reasons, this potential is rarely realized.

At the same time, older people are characterized by emotional maturity, financial stability, and already formed communication skills. And this solves a lot.

As for the problem of common interests, people with a large age difference are more likely to find them in a relationship than vice versa

"Most likely," the psychologist says, "you will have common interests and lifestyles, such as going to clubs, boating, etc. It all depends on the context.

Thus, according to Chante, both unions have the right to exist. At the same time, if you are planning a serious relationship, regardless of the age of your partner, decide on the following key points:

  • why you need this relationship and whether it has any prospects
  • to what extent your chosen one can meet your needs
  • whether you are ready to accept him/her as he/she is
  • whether there is mutual understanding on basic issues
  • how realistic your expectations of this union are
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