Psychologist reveals 9 ways to stop people-pleasing

Psychologists say that the desire to please people is deeply rooted in many of us and is multi-layered. That's why it's so important to provide yourself with a safe space to explore these layers, break free from old patterns, and eventually live without emotional attachment to everyone around you.

The Daily Mail published an article about 9 ways to stop pleasing people by Dr. Lalitaa Suglani, a certified psychologist rom Birmingham. The expert shared this information in her recent post on Instagram, where she has more than 125,000 followers.

What does pleasing look like?

Thus, among the most common "accommodating" behaviors, Suglani listed the tendency to apologize too much and the inability to say "no". In addition, the expert believes that a sign of a desire to please everyone can be the silence of one's grievances and constant changes in behavior, indicating an attempt to adapt.

The list also includes:

• willingness to help everyone but oneself;
• being uncomfortable around conflicts;
• taking responsibility for other people's feelings.

Finally, she argues, a sign of pleasing can also be a constant search for external validation.

How to stop pleasing?

Having categorized these types of behavior, the psychologist explains how to deal with them. Her list of 9 ways to break a bad habit opens with the need to "prioritize your own needs."

Then she advises to

• set boundaries in relationships with others;
• practice self-analysis;
• achieve a state of authenticity (self-consistency of the personality);

A separate item on Sugliani's list is self-knowledge. The psychologist strongly advises exploring your interests and hobbies to develop self-esteem.

In addition, the expert recommended that subscribers should seek help from specialists more often, live in a mode of realistic expectations, show self-compassion, and always remember their successes and achievements.

She concluded her post with the words, "You deserve to live within your own self-esteem and not be guided by what others think of you."